How to Deal with the Fourth of July Aspie Style!

Like many aspies I hate loud noises and get over-stimulated by them. So, as one can imagine American's Independence Day and I have never quite got along. As a child I would run away from some of the fireworks because of the horrible high-pitched whistling sounds they made. I remember some of them even pushing me to the point of melting down and then my parents and I would have to leave so I could go home and calm down.

Yesterday was the 4th of July and it was one of the best I have had. We had a small gathering of friends at my parent’s house and sat in the front yard and watched fireworks. I have been learning copping strategies to help with the loud noises I hate. I wore headphones over my ears so I could watch the fireworks, for I really do like the pretty colors they make just not the noises. I, however, had to run inside my house when my brother lit off a firecracker, for these still sound like a car bomb going off in a war zone. I hate firecrackers and suggest if you have an autistic person living with you or who is your friend to not light they off at all, but brothers will be brothers.

So, what can you do to help your autistic through the 4th of July festivities? First and foremost, do not take your autistic to a large gathering, for this is a perfect recipe for over-stimulation and meltdown. If you are a parent/partner I know what you are thinking, "But Miriam, I got invited to such and such gathering and we really want to go?" Well...I am sorry dear parent/partner "IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU" in this situation if you want to avoid putting you autistic in a tail spin it is important to always think twice before going to a large gathering with them. If your partner or older child is ok with staying home by themselves by all means go to the get together, but do not drag them along and expect them to be alright at the end of the evening. Autistic people are already going to have trouble with the noises from people lighting off fireworks and subjecting them to the large amount of noise that is a part of a gathering beforehand just spells disaster and frustration for the both of you. 

Firework induced meltdowns and be prevented with ear protection such as head phones or ear plugs. I find that the above mentioned work for most fireworks expect firecrackers.

Well...I hope you found these tips helpful and I hope they can help you have a better 4th of July next year! What other tips might you have for the 4th of July madness?

Miriam

The Time in Our Lives....That we hate, but must go through.

"Middle School", two of the most dreaded words for most young people especially autistics. Middle school for me was anything but fun. I was highly interverted and had trouble carrying on a conversation with my peers. I was often alone and only had one friend. Also, When I was thirteen years old I started to develop an eating disorder and later was hospitalized with anorexia nervosa. It took until college to get over my eating disorder and I am now finely free of it.

I tried to fit in by imitating my peers, but soon found that this felt fake and insincere. I even started to try and dress in a way that would help me fit in better; hence I wore jeans until about a year ago when I went back to wearing leggings which I had worn all of my childhood years. I wore messenger t-shirts (what in the world was I thinking, seriously!!!!), skater shoes, and my hair in a ponytail, but in-spite of this I still did not fit in. I loved horses and was not interested in dating, doing my hair, or nails. I liked to read books and ride horses and this lead to my lack of friends and being a pariah throughout middle school and high school. I simply was not interested in what everyone else was doing.

 Through high school I continued to be a social outcast with my own sense of style and my obsessive tendency to bring my knitting with me wherever I went. I had one good friend during that time in my life who tried to understand me even though I believe I could be frustrating at times and we continue to be friends to this day. The rest of the people I knew during high school were either mean to me or just plan boring and didn't get my eccentricities. Needless to say I was super happy to go to college a year early where I am still thriving and happy. I love college and must say that socially I am still not a butterfly, but I have made more friends in college then I ever did in middle school and high school.

I personally believe middle school and high school can be some of the hardest stages of life for a person on the spectrum. So here is a list of helpful tips to get through it

1. Delve into your special interest. Be obsessive about it and let no one hold you back, for this may lead to a degree or a job in later life and it is a great stress reliever after a long day at school.

2. DON"T GIVE UP YOUR STUFFED ANIMALS!!!! Don't think of them as childish and don't let anyone tell you that they are. Hugging stuffed animals can be soothing and hugging them can provide the much need sensory input that many of us on the spectrum need. They also can be good to talk to if one is feeling lonely as well.

3. E-mailing friends can sometimes be easier then talking on the phone and it can be a great way to meet other people who have the same special interest as you. Just always use internet safety rules and you should be safe and off to a fruitful friendship.

4. STIM AND BE PROUD OF IT!!! Stimming is the best way to keep yourself regulated and prevent meltdowns and as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else by doing it STIM my friends STIM!

5. Join clubs at your school or local recreation center that might have something to do with your special interest or try something new. Clubs are a great way to meet people who share your passions.

6.  Don't get discouraged if you only have a few friends. It is better to have one good friend who knows you well and cares about you then to have a whole hoard of fair weather friends.

7. Concentrate on school and not making tons of friends, for doing well in school is way more important than being popular and will serve you better in later life.

8. Wear clothes that you like not that make you fit in. Be comfortable and merry my friends!

9. Be proud of being Autistic and let no one hold you back. Sometimes, people can say mean things, but try and not let them get to you. Own who you are.

10. Join a Autism support group whether it be in real life or online, for it is always helpful to talk with others who know what you are going through.

Well....I hope you found this post helpful. Feel free to ask questions in the comment section! Bye for now!

Miriam