The Time in Our Lives....That we hate, but must go through.

"Middle School", two of the most dreaded words for most young people especially autistics. Middle school for me was anything but fun. I was highly interverted and had trouble carrying on a conversation with my peers. I was often alone and only had one friend. Also, When I was thirteen years old I started to develop an eating disorder and later was hospitalized with anorexia nervosa. It took until college to get over my eating disorder and I am now finely free of it.

I tried to fit in by imitating my peers, but soon found that this felt fake and insincere. I even started to try and dress in a way that would help me fit in better; hence I wore jeans until about a year ago when I went back to wearing leggings which I had worn all of my childhood years. I wore messenger t-shirts (what in the world was I thinking, seriously!!!!), skater shoes, and my hair in a ponytail, but in-spite of this I still did not fit in. I loved horses and was not interested in dating, doing my hair, or nails. I liked to read books and ride horses and this lead to my lack of friends and being a pariah throughout middle school and high school. I simply was not interested in what everyone else was doing.

 Through high school I continued to be a social outcast with my own sense of style and my obsessive tendency to bring my knitting with me wherever I went. I had one good friend during that time in my life who tried to understand me even though I believe I could be frustrating at times and we continue to be friends to this day. The rest of the people I knew during high school were either mean to me or just plan boring and didn't get my eccentricities. Needless to say I was super happy to go to college a year early where I am still thriving and happy. I love college and must say that socially I am still not a butterfly, but I have made more friends in college then I ever did in middle school and high school.

I personally believe middle school and high school can be some of the hardest stages of life for a person on the spectrum. So here is a list of helpful tips to get through it

1. Delve into your special interest. Be obsessive about it and let no one hold you back, for this may lead to a degree or a job in later life and it is a great stress reliever after a long day at school.

2. DON"T GIVE UP YOUR STUFFED ANIMALS!!!! Don't think of them as childish and don't let anyone tell you that they are. Hugging stuffed animals can be soothing and hugging them can provide the much need sensory input that many of us on the spectrum need. They also can be good to talk to if one is feeling lonely as well.

3. E-mailing friends can sometimes be easier then talking on the phone and it can be a great way to meet other people who have the same special interest as you. Just always use internet safety rules and you should be safe and off to a fruitful friendship.

4. STIM AND BE PROUD OF IT!!! Stimming is the best way to keep yourself regulated and prevent meltdowns and as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else by doing it STIM my friends STIM!

5. Join clubs at your school or local recreation center that might have something to do with your special interest or try something new. Clubs are a great way to meet people who share your passions.

6.  Don't get discouraged if you only have a few friends. It is better to have one good friend who knows you well and cares about you then to have a whole hoard of fair weather friends.

7. Concentrate on school and not making tons of friends, for doing well in school is way more important than being popular and will serve you better in later life.

8. Wear clothes that you like not that make you fit in. Be comfortable and merry my friends!

9. Be proud of being Autistic and let no one hold you back. Sometimes, people can say mean things, but try and not let them get to you. Own who you are.

10. Join a Autism support group whether it be in real life or online, for it is always helpful to talk with others who know what you are going through.

Well....I hope you found this post helpful. Feel free to ask questions in the comment section! Bye for now!

Miriam